Sunday, May 02, 2004
Bloggers Heading To War, then Hell
A Durstian Rant:
The chief of the Selective Service System has proposed registering women for the military draft and requiring that young Americans regularly inform the government about whether they have training in niche specialties needed in the armed services.
The proposal, which the agency's acting Director Lewis Brodsky presented to senior Pentagon officials just before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, also seeks to extend the age of draft registration to 34 years old, up from 25.
Seeing that bloggers have training in niche specialties [ crackin' it to Amanda Bynes, sex with Bill Cosby and O.C. gayishness], you're all doomed!!!!
And with chicks getting drafted, you're all toast, too.
Here's the dilly. You're under 34, blogging at your Mom's house and writing about Lindsay "no tan-line" Lohan's juggs one day, and the next you're chillin' in Tikrit with no body armor, sand in your ass and wondering why you've had to travel so far so Chickenhawk Bush can get the Middel East and Isreali Jews in place so his evangelical Rapture Apocalypse-story can come true and he can go to heaven with all the other Jesus freaks.
Sounds crazy? Bush is a former coke head, alcoholic who is reborn. He's Evangelical or "fundagelical", fundamentally evangelic. He can barely speak english and has no grasp of foreign policy, the economy, taxes, healthcare, the enviroment, exportation of jobs, managing social security or following through on any of his "missions", but he knows the Bible. And God, too.
He believes in the Rapture and Revelations from the Bible word for word. Jesus is coming back to save the born-again evangelicals, and only the born-again evangelicals [the rest get the Apocolypse and end up in Hell], but only after a few things happen, i.e., Isreal is in jewish hands, 3rd Temple built in Jeruselum. [just a note: I am not writing this because I belive one way or another about Isreal or who has what, I am writing this because Bush is making policy decisions based on his religious beliefs and wants to please his fellow evangelicals.]
How do I jump from Iraq to Isreal and back? It's tough. Don't get me wrong, Bush has a childlike vandetta for Saddam for fucking with his Daddy, but it's deeper than that. But no WMDs=why Iraq now? The long-term Bush Crusade is to get oil [let's not fool ourselves], to get Muslims fired up, and to get Isreal in "Rapture mode". Bush and his Christian cohorts are hoping for Armageddon. Bush has Sharon's back 100%. Muslims are pissed. This gets the Rapture party in gear.
Hear me know and believe me later. Those "Left Behind" books are all about this shizz.
Endgame. Your blogga-ass is getting drafted because shithead W starts needless wars, wastes our troops on his goals for the Rapture, then gets patriotic on yer ass saying its' to protect the US.
Starting wars saves us, YAYYYY!!!
In closing down this rant, I digress, Juggs YES!, Draft NO!
The chief of the Selective Service System has proposed registering women for the military draft and requiring that young Americans regularly inform the government about whether they have training in niche specialties needed in the armed services.
The proposal, which the agency's acting Director Lewis Brodsky presented to senior Pentagon officials just before the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq, also seeks to extend the age of draft registration to 34 years old, up from 25.
Seeing that bloggers have training in niche specialties [ crackin' it to Amanda Bynes, sex with Bill Cosby and O.C. gayishness], you're all doomed!!!!
And with chicks getting drafted, you're all toast, too.
Here's the dilly. You're under 34, blogging at your Mom's house and writing about Lindsay "no tan-line" Lohan's juggs one day, and the next you're chillin' in Tikrit with no body armor, sand in your ass and wondering why you've had to travel so far so Chickenhawk Bush can get the Middel East and Isreali Jews in place so his evangelical Rapture Apocalypse-story can come true and he can go to heaven with all the other Jesus freaks.
Sounds crazy? Bush is a former coke head, alcoholic who is reborn. He's Evangelical or "fundagelical", fundamentally evangelic. He can barely speak english and has no grasp of foreign policy, the economy, taxes, healthcare, the enviroment, exportation of jobs, managing social security or following through on any of his "missions", but he knows the Bible. And God, too.
He believes in the Rapture and Revelations from the Bible word for word. Jesus is coming back to save the born-again evangelicals, and only the born-again evangelicals [the rest get the Apocolypse and end up in Hell], but only after a few things happen, i.e., Isreal is in jewish hands, 3rd Temple built in Jeruselum. [just a note: I am not writing this because I belive one way or another about Isreal or who has what, I am writing this because Bush is making policy decisions based on his religious beliefs and wants to please his fellow evangelicals.]
How do I jump from Iraq to Isreal and back? It's tough. Don't get me wrong, Bush has a childlike vandetta for Saddam for fucking with his Daddy, but it's deeper than that. But no WMDs=why Iraq now? The long-term Bush Crusade is to get oil [let's not fool ourselves], to get Muslims fired up, and to get Isreal in "Rapture mode". Bush and his Christian cohorts are hoping for Armageddon. Bush has Sharon's back 100%. Muslims are pissed. This gets the Rapture party in gear.
Hear me know and believe me later. Those "Left Behind" books are all about this shizz.
Endgame. Your blogga-ass is getting drafted because shithead W starts needless wars, wastes our troops on his goals for the Rapture, then gets patriotic on yer ass saying its' to protect the US.
Starting wars saves us, YAYYYY!!!
In closing down this rant, I digress, Juggs YES!, Draft NO!
